Tag Archives: mindfulness

New Year’s Promises

I don’t generally believe in the tradition of making New Year’s resolutions, but I’ve still chosen to make some promises for 2018. I’ve learned that the most important promises are the ones that I make to myself, changes I initiate in an effort to improve the quality of my life or to help nurture a sense of purpose.

I’ll begin by taking a close look at some of my relationships. Many experts argue that the most important choice you’ll ever make is the people you surround yourself with. Since my cancer diagnosis I’ve basically developed zero tolerance for having toxic people in my life. In 2018 I promise to do all that I can to eliminate the power these individuals exert over me. There are some obvious signs of a toxic person and you’ll generally recognize it when you are in such a relationship. Here are some of the common red flags:

  • Nothing you can say or do is good enough.
  • They comment on the smallest flaw or perceived imperfection.
  • They drag up your past and won’t allow you to grow or be different.
  • They act like they are fabulous and never make mistakes.
  • They leave you feeling guilty and ashamed of who you are.
  • They are critical, controlling and don’t think about your needs.
  • They leave you feeling beaten, wounded, battered bruised and torn.
  • They violate your boundaries and never respect no.
  • They don’t care about your feelings and they like to see you suffer.
  • It’s always about them and what they think and want and feel.

If you notice these signs, it’s best to cut the person out of your life completely or to at least keep them at a distance. Such individuals are capable of inflicting serious emotional and psychological harm, especially if you are in frequent contact with them over a prolonged period of time.

 

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i hear a thousand kind words about me
and it makes no difference
yet I hear one insult
and all confidence shatters

focusing on the negative

I can definitely relate to this poem which appears in the collection The Sun and Her Flowers by Rupi Kaur. I promise to be less critical of myself and to focus more on why I am a special and worthwhile human being. I promise to focus on my positive qualities and the valuable contributions that I am able to make while I’m in this world. My battle with cancer has revealed to me that people often won’t love and respect you until you choose to love and respect yourself.

Finally, I promise to be more mindful in my day to day living. I’ve discovered that one of the best ways to quiet my mind and focus my attention is a technique called mindfulness. The eminent psychologist Jon Kabat-Zinn pioneered using this method with cancer patients and other groups at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. Mindfulness is basically just a way of paying attention, a way of awakening our minds and being present in the here and now. With principles found in Buddhism, mindfulness teaches us to live the moments contained in each day rather than focusing on what might lie ahead.

Acceptance and letting go are crucial components of mindfulness. A philosophy of mindfulness encourages us to come to terms with our life, even difficult experiences such as a cancer diagnosis. Acceptance means seeing things as they actually are in the present. Mindfulness doesn’t require that you have to like your situation—you don’t necessarily have to assume a passive attitude toward suffering or life’s unfairness. However, you must come to terms with things as they are and acknowledge them, whether it’s a diagnosis of cancer or the possibility of its recurrence.

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How to Slay the Dragon: Fear, Anxiety and Cancer

guiltFear is one of my constant companions on this cancer journey, for nearly four years now it has attempted to overcome me and prevent me from living the life I want. Naturally, when I was first diagnosed with ovarian cancer and saw my pathology report a series of unsettling questions raced through my mind. Consulting with a team of oncologists at Calgary’s Baker Centre only seemed to increase my anxiety over my condition. Will the recommended treatment be successful or will I die? Will undergoing another major surgery followed by chemotherapy be too agonizing and unbearable? Now that my oncologist has informed me that I’m in remission, it’s the fear of my cancer recurring that I have to cope with on a daily basis.

In this post I’d like to share several of the best techniques that I’ve discovered for cancer survivors to master their fear and not let it control them.

Remember That Your Journey is Unique

Most women with ovarian cancer have at least one relapse within five years of being diagnosed, but I frequently remind myself that this standard rate of recurrence won’t necessary happen to me. The reality is that medical science has established that all cancer patients are unique. What’s more, because cancer statistics are based on large samples of people, they cannot be used to predict exactly what will happen to a single individual. Everyone is different. Treatments and how people respond to treatment can differ greatly. I strongly suggest trying to follow these essential rules:

  1. Resist the temptation to compare the disease in your body to what is happening to other people, even in situations when the type or stage of cancer is highly similar.
  2. Don’t dwell on statistics or the possibility of recurrence.

Practice Mindfulness

I’ve discovered that one of the best ways to quiet my mind and focus my attention is a technique called mindfulness. Jon Kabat-Zinn pioneered using this method with cancer patients and other groups battling chronic pain or illness at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. Mindfulness is basically just a way of paying attention, a way of awakening our minds and being present in the here and now. With principles found in Buddhism, mindfulness teaches us to live moments in each day rather than focusing on what might lie ahead.

Acceptance and letting go are crucial components of mindfulness. A philosophy of mindfulness encourages us to come to terms with our life, even difficult experiences such as a cancer diagnosis. Acceptance means seeing things as they actually are in the present. Mindfulness doesn’t require that you have to like your situation—you don’t necessarily have to assume a passive attitude toward suffering or life’s unfairness. However, you must come to terms with things as they are and acknowledge them, whether it’s a diagnosis of cancer or the possibility of its recurrence in the future.

Appreciate the Joys of Nature

K-Country

It’s generally agreed that exposure to nature is extremely beneficial for people with cancer or other chronic illnesses, improving mood and easing anxiety, stress, and depression. Current research findings suggest that natural settings such as parks, wilderness areas, urban green spaces and gardens have the potential to improve both physical and mental health. Numerous health scholars claim that ecotherapy can promote wellness and healing. The practice is also known as green therapy, nature therapy, and earth-centered therapy.

Take Part in Exercise or Physical Activity

Studies have proven the benefits of exercise for cancer patients. Of course, vigorous physical activity might not be possible during treatment and you should always consult with your doctor before beginning an exercise program. It will take more effort to become active if you were accustomed to a sedentary lifestyle before your cancer diagnosis. Many people feel so excited about “getting healthy” that they try to do multiple things at once, and that’s a recipe for burnout. Try focusing on just one type of exercise first. Some research indicates that a behavior change is more likely to ensue when you’ve identified what you really want from it. You may be seeking better moods or stress relief, or maybe you just want to connect with a fellow cancer survivor or workout buddy—it doesn’t matter, as long as you know what your goals are.

Have at Least One Regular Hobby

Secret-Garden

There’s an emerging group of professionals who employ the arts to help people heal. The new field is called creative arts therapies, and it encompasses a wide range of modes of expression including art, dance/movement, drama, music and poetry. When cancer patients undertake these activities, whether individually or with the guidance of a creative art therapist, they stand to benefit psychologically and emotionally. Recently there’s been a trend toward simple or old-fashioned crafts and hobbies such as knitting. Some adults are even using colouring books to relax and reduce daily stress. This concept started several years ago with the publication of Johanna Basford’s Secret Garden. Her colouring book for adults has since been translated into 14 languages and has sold over one million copies.

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Mindfulness and Cancer

Managing psychological stress when you have cancer can be extremely difficult. How can you experience moments of stillness, relaxation and contentment when your mind is constantly preoccupied with your disease and what impact it might have on your future?

Even when the apprehensiveness over a cancer diagnosis is taken out of the equation, getting our mind to embrace a sense of calmness is often difficult. If you start paying attention to where your mind is from moment to moment throughout the day, chances are you will find that considerable amounts of your time and energy are expended in clinging to life’s memories or regretting unfortunate things that have already happened and that are over. And you will probably find that as much or more energy is expended in anticipating, planning, worrying and fantasizing about the future and what you want to happen or don’t want to happen.

Cancer only exacerbates this inclination; in particular there is the fear and uncertainty. Having cancer means facing the unknown trajectory of the disease, the side effects from chemotherapy or other treatments and the possibility of death. Even thought the doctors have reassured me that I’m in remission, I’m often consumed with anxiety. Like thousands of other women in my situation my mind seeks answers to the inevitable questions. How long will I remain in remission? If I have a recurrence, how can I possibly find the physical and emotional strength to contend with going through everything all over again?

Yoga

I’ve discovered that one of the best ways to quiet my mind and focus my attention is a technique called mindfulness. Jon Kabat-Zinn pioneered using this method with cancer patients and other groups battling chronic pain or illness at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. Mindfulness is basically just a way of paying attention, a way of awakening our minds and being present in the here and now. With principles found in Buddhism, mindfulness teaches us to live moments in each day rather than focusing on what might lie ahead.

Although mindfulness mediation is frequently taught and practiced within the context of Buddhism, it has been argued that its essence is universal. Mindfulness is universal and transcends nationality or culture because it’s essentially a technique for looking deeply into oneself in the spirit of self-inquiry and self-understanding. For this reason it can be learned and practiced by cancer patients without appealing to Asian culture or Buddhist authority to enrich it or authenticate it. Advocates contend that mindfulness stands on its own as a powerful vehicle for self-understanding and healing.

Kabat-Zinn

Jon Kabat-Zinn

So how do you learn to live in each moment and remain focused on what is occurring in the present? How do you become skilled at practicing mindfulness? According to Jon Kabat-Zinn and other teachers mindfulness can take a lifetime to fully master. However, getting started isn’t difficult if a person is motivated to practice and doesn’t expect some magic resolution to life’s problems or to all of their cancer related issues. Its been said that the most insidious enemy of any type of daily practice is our North American culture’s relentless celebration of immediate gratification. Below I’ve listed some of the essential principles of living mindfully:

  • When a cancer patient approaches mindfulness formally in a group or classroom setting one of the first things that they will learn is how to use focused breathing techniques. This helps them to discover their body and how it responds to stress and other emotions. By concentrating on their breath, they can also gently pull their mind back to the present moment when it wanders.
  • Mindfulness is cultivated by simply observing our experiences and not judging them. The natural human tendency is to categorize or label almost everything we see. These judgments often come to dominate our minds, making it difficult to ever find inner peace.
  • Some cancer survivors choose to practice mindfulness meditation or gentle yoga. A study just published in the Journal of Clinical Oncology found that women with breast cancer who practiced yoga had lower levels of stress hormones. They also reported less fatigue and a better quality of life. It’s generally recommended that you ask your doctor if you can participate in yoga, then find a yoga instructor with experience leading a class that includes cancer patients.
  • In our overwhelmingly goal oriented and results driven culture mindfulness is one of the few practices that is essentially a non-doing. It has no other goal than for you to be yourself. For example, when you meditate you’re encouraged not to set specific goals such as I’m going to relax now, I’m going to become more enlightened or I’m going to control my pain. You have nothing to strive for, except perhaps a better recognition and appreciation of the present moment.
  • Acceptance and letting go are crucial components of mindfulness. A philosophy of mindfulness encourages us to come to terms with our life, even difficult experiences such as a cancer diagnosis. Acceptance means seeing things as they actually are in the present. Mindfulness doesn’t require that you have to like your situation—you don’t have to assume a passive attitude toward suffering or life’s unfairness. However, you must come to terms with things as they are and accept them, whether it’s a diagnosis of cancer or learning of someone’s death.

In spite of everything, cancer can be a wake-up call to the value of life, an incentive to live the life we want or believe we were meant to live in the time we have left. Mindfulness, with its emphasis on the present and living each moment fully, can help guide some cancer survivors through this profound journey.

Ralph-Waldo

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