Tag Archives: cancer emotional impact

The Problem with Cancer and the Warrior Ethic

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the controversial, yet commonly held, notion that a cancer diagnosis is a war or a battle that must be won. Doesn’t this philosophy place the burden almost entirely on us patients? If we die or if our cancer ultimately recurs it’s because we didn’t think positively enough or we weren’t strong enough to will it away. I know of plenty of women who’ve succumbed to ovarian cancer and they were among the bravest and most resolute people on Earth. In my opinion, a person’s cancer outcome will depend almost exclusively on medical science. Of course, there are always certain unknown factors or variables—what we sometimes refer to as chance. I’ve learned to face the reality that much of what occurs in terms of my cancer is beyond my individual control, no matter how strong or determined I try to be.

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When I was first diagnosed, an iconic image associated with cancer kept going through my mind. I closed my eyes and I could see one of Canada’s most legendary and revered figures, Marathon of Hope runner Terry Fox. I can vividly remember Fox from the photographs and TV clips of my early adolescent years. He continues to represent a certain type of heroism to me, and his legacy offers proof that one person can change the world in the face of tremendous adversity. Nevertheless, it was beyond the young Fox’s control, that his cancer returned and he was forced to stop his Marathon of Hope. In the end, he received multiple chemotherapy treatments and even experimental interferon treatments; in spite of everything, the disease continued to spread. Terry Fox died on June 28, 1981, with his family by his side. My point is that even the heroes among us don’t have it within their power to simply will cancer away.

Well-known screenwriter and producer Josh Friedman was recently diagnosed with kidney cancer, he writes eloquently about the warrior mentality in a personal essay he authored for Time magazine. “Cancer doesn’t give a damn how tough you are,” he argues. “Cancer doesn’t care if you stared down the North Koreans like John McCain, or won the Tour De France like Lance Armstrong.”

Friedman is adamant that patients shouldn’t feel a burden to be brave or to be victorious in some kind of ongoing battle with their disease. “You don’t battle cancer. You don’t fight it. If cancer wants you it sneaks into your room at night and just takes you. It doesn’t care if you’re John Wayne or John McCain.”

“The tough guy narrative is seductive,”  Friedman reminds his readers. “It suggests we have control over our fate, that we can will cancer away. These are lies we tell ourselves. And for some patients that’s helpful. It gets them through the day. For them, it’s a useful tool. But courageousness is a standard that no sick person should feel like they have to meet.”

One popular theory that makes me especially angry is one that links specific personality types to an increased risk of getting cancer. “The Type C Connection: The Behavioral Links to Cancer and Your Health,” argues that the personality traits of some people make them more prone to cancer. Typically, “Type C” individuals are the antithesis of warriors: They are unassertive people-pleasers who repress their emotions.

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Modern researchers have largely debunked the idea that negative emotions heighten an individual’s susceptibility to developing cancer, or that maintaining a positive outlook can stave off cancer’s return or delay its progression. I agree with the majority of oncologists and cancer researchers who argue that there is no evidence to support the idea that personality can influence the growth of malignant cells. There is no cancer for which attitude can halt the progression of disease. A handful of studies have found that women who are anxious or depressed are more likely to suffer recurrences of breast cancer and die from the condition. However, it’s obviously true, and understandable, that dying women are more likely to be anxious and depressed.

A recent article in the Washington Post bore the straightforward headline: “It doesn’t take a warrior to beat cancer. It takes a treatment that works.” The author, Steven Petrow, discusses his opinion that people shouldn’t think that their cancer outcome is primarily in their hands. If someone’s cancer progresses, it’s a failure of the medical treatments that are currently available, plain and simple.

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The Etiquette of Cancer

I’ve been living with cancer for six years now, having been through three abdominal cancer surgeries, five rounds of chemotherapy as well as countless scans and procedures, I’ve become deeply aware of the “etiquette of cancer.” Or the lack thereof. Etiquette has everything to do with situation, context, timing, individuals and circumstances—cancer etiquette is the same. I can’t offer any concrete rules, only suggestions and advice about how to communicate when the subject you’re dealing with is cancer. Perhaps most importantly you should be authentic and true to your relationship. Essentially the person hasn’t changed and wants to be treated as you always have. He or she is still that special someone in your life, with cancer, for the time being.

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Respect the Person With Cancer’s Privacy

One important area of etiquette that was sometimes breached during my diagnosis and treatment was respect for my privacy as a cancer patient. Of course, I won’t name people specifically, but there were one or two family acquaintances who took it upon themselves to spread the news of my illness. Please don’t share cancer information unless you know you have permission from the individual. Don’t use telephone calls, emails, social media, newsletters or bulletins to comment about a person without their specific consent. This rule is especially important when it comes to something as intensely personal as one’s health or a cancer diagnosis.

 

Practice the “Ring Theory” of Kvetching

Recently a technique has gained attention for coping with a major life crisis, such as a serious illness.  It’s called the ring theory of kvetching, so named by the psychologist Susan Silk, writing in the LA Times in 2013. Silk drew on her experiences as a breast cancer patient. When she declined one colleague’s visit, pleading exhaustion, she was told, “This isn’t just about you.” “It’s not?” she wondered. “My breast cancer is not about me? It’s about you?” The main principle of the ring theory is that support, caring, comfort FLOWS IN. Kvetching, venting, complaining, requests for empathy, all of this only FLOWS OUT. The person or people with the illness, trauma, or other enormously challenging life situation — they get to complain outwardly to their first circle of support. The first circle of support does NOT vent — about the challenges, the loss of sleep, the emotional toll, etc. — to the person or people at the centre of the trauma.

 

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Don’t Offer Treatment Advice

When I was undergoing treatment, I can remember getting angry when people other than my cancer care team would try to give me medical information. “If I want information regarding cancer or cancer treatment, I’ll ask for it,” I thought. In the months following my cancer diagnosis I was inundated with information and advice from my medical team. Consequently, the articles from newspapers, magazines or online publications that I received from other people were annoying. For the most part these pieces were irrelevant and unnecessary. Also be careful when presenting teas, potions or homeopathic remedies to treat cancer. When some individuals gave me a gift basket with ginger and dandelion root, I didn’t bother to explain to them that these nutrients are specifically mentioned on a list oncologists give to their patients. Ginger and dandelion root do not combine well with many traditional chemotherapy drugs, and therefore patients should refrain from using them during active treatment.

 

Don’t Minimize the Diagnosis

Don’t declare, “Oh, cancer’s no big deal. My mom has had that for 20 years and is doing fine.” Remember that I’m not your mom and that any cancer is a serious issue. Even skin cancer, bladder cancer and other “minor” malignancies kill people every day. They cause suffering. They cause organ removal and disfigurement and fear and shame. I hate when people try to deny this fact or to minimize it by giving me false reassurance or by saying that I’m going to fine. The truth is I don’t know I’m going to be fine, you don’t know I’m going to be fine, even my oncologist doesn’t know what my outcome will be. Instead, I feel comforted by phrases like “I believe in you.” or “I’m pulling for you.”

 

Don’t be Judgmental or Ask for a Health History

For many cancer patients there’s nothing worse than being sick and getting advice from the healthy, because it’s almost like insinuating we did something to make this happen to us. It may be true in some cases that our lifestyle or health care choices increase the odds of getting cancer or contribute to cancer progression. However, if you cause someone with cancer to absorb blame and feel shame it will almost certainly make matters worse. Shame and guilt are unnecessary burdens to carry. From everything that’s known about the emotions and health, acceptance and forgiveness are what cancer patients need to cultivate and enhance healing, not self-condemnation or self-blame.

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Lessons in Survivorship: The Wisdom of Cancer

PurpleRainAs I’ve mentioned before in this blog, self-assessment or the need to reprioritize your life is a virtually inevitable part of being a cancer survivor. This month marks the fourth anniversary of my diagnosis. My gynecologist informed me of my disease on November 3, 2011, and this will always remain one of the most significant days of my life. How can one explain such a profound and life-altering event to a person who has always been relatively healthy? Some psychologists and experts have observed that cancer patients divide their lives into two parts or that we are figuratively born twice.

Since the beginning of my cancer experience there have been moments of epiphany and numerous opportunities for personal reflection. I want to share a few of the survivorship lessons that I’ve come to terms with over the past four years. According to professionals in the cancer field, survivorship is living with and beyond cancer. Survivorship covers the physical, psychosocial, and economic issues of cancer, from diagnosis until the end of life. This is some of what I’ve learned so far.

If something isn’t going to matter or have any impact five years from now, I probably shouldn’t spend time worrying about the issue. Not until my diagnosis with cancer did I realize how much time I spend worrying about the future or regretting the past. I believe more than ever in the importance of focusing my attention on the present. I can live each moment only once, so why waste that precious moment in a state of self-induced stress or anxiety? As for the direction of my life, I’ve ultimately gained a clearer perspective about what my priorities are—I’m proud of my ability to concentrate on the values and relationships that I know are the most significant.

I tend to enjoy my own company more than I enjoy being in groups or socializing with other people. I’ve accepted that I’m an introvert and there’s nothing wrong with the way I am, it’s not necessary for me to apologize. I lament the fact that my personality type is so frequently misunderstood and that introversion is often confused with being shy. Shyness is the fear of negative judgment, and introversion is a preference for quiet, minimally stimulating environments. I become the most upset when I’m accused of disliking people in general and of lacking the skills to be an extrovert. The truth is that introverts comprise at least one quarter of the population and we continue to make our own unique contributions to society.

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It’s counterproductive to surround myself with people who don’t want to be with me or don’t value me. I’ve reached a point on my cancer journey where I find it’s no longer necessary to impress anyone. If they like me the way I am, that’s fine. If they don’t, it’s their loss.

I’ve definitely developed zero tolerance for having toxic people in my life.

Some Signs of a Toxic Person

Nothing you can say or do is good enough.
They comment on the smallest flaw or perceived imperfection.
They drag up your past and won’t allow you to grow or be different.
They act like they are fabulous and never make mistakes.
They leave you feeling guilty and ashamed of who you are.
They are critical, controlling and don’t think about your needs.
They leave you feeling beaten, wounded, battered bruised and torn.
They violate your boundaries and never respect no.
They don’t care about your feelings and they like to see you suffer.
It’s always about them and what they think and want and feel.

I never use the phrase someday and I try to avoid talking about future plans in vague or uncertain terms. Most people I know take the future for granted and think of it as something that will always be there for them. In 2012 I spent over a month and a half on Unit 42 at Calgary’s Foothills Hospital. This women’s cancer ward is predominately a place of bravery, triumph, heartbreak and tears. When I looked into some of the other patients’ eyes, I could see them begging for a future, and I understood that they would do almost anything for the gift of just a few more months in this world. As a cancer survivor I’ve discovered how precarious tomorrow really is and that you can’t always depend on someday.

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I’ve learned it’s not wrong to put my own needs first and that it’s essential to take care of myself physically and emotionally. After undergoing five cycles of chemotherapy and three cancer surgeries within eight months—I’m finally treating my body with the respect it deserves. We’re all pressured daily to move faster, do more, sleep less, earn more money and obtain that promotion. Within the cancer community, I hear the term “self-care” a lot. I don’t know if I’m fond of the expression, but it’s a concept I believe in strongly, I consider it particularly relevant for women with cancer. As women we are socially encouraged to give everyone else our time, energy and attention—but often feel conflicted or guilty when we stop long enough to take equally thoughtful care of ourselves.

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How to Slay the Dragon: Fear, Anxiety and Cancer

guiltFear is one of my constant companions on this cancer journey, for nearly four years now it has attempted to overcome me and prevent me from living the life I want. Naturally, when I was first diagnosed with ovarian cancer and saw my pathology report a series of unsettling questions raced through my mind. Consulting with a team of oncologists at Calgary’s Baker Centre only seemed to increase my anxiety over my condition. Will the recommended treatment be successful or will I die? Will undergoing another major surgery followed by chemotherapy be too agonizing and unbearable? Now that my oncologist has informed me that I’m in remission, it’s the fear of my cancer recurring that I have to cope with on a daily basis.

In this post I’d like to share several of the best techniques that I’ve discovered for cancer survivors to master their fear and not let it control them.

Remember That Your Journey is Unique

Most women with ovarian cancer have at least one relapse within five years of being diagnosed, but I frequently remind myself that this standard rate of recurrence won’t necessary happen to me. The reality is that medical science has established that all cancer patients are unique. What’s more, because cancer statistics are based on large samples of people, they cannot be used to predict exactly what will happen to a single individual. Everyone is different. Treatments and how people respond to treatment can differ greatly. I strongly suggest trying to follow these essential rules:

  1. Resist the temptation to compare the disease in your body to what is happening to other people, even in situations when the type or stage of cancer is highly similar.
  2. Don’t dwell on statistics or the possibility of recurrence.

Practice Mindfulness

I’ve discovered that one of the best ways to quiet my mind and focus my attention is a technique called mindfulness. Jon Kabat-Zinn pioneered using this method with cancer patients and other groups battling chronic pain or illness at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. Mindfulness is basically just a way of paying attention, a way of awakening our minds and being present in the here and now. With principles found in Buddhism, mindfulness teaches us to live moments in each day rather than focusing on what might lie ahead.

Acceptance and letting go are crucial components of mindfulness. A philosophy of mindfulness encourages us to come to terms with our life, even difficult experiences such as a cancer diagnosis. Acceptance means seeing things as they actually are in the present. Mindfulness doesn’t require that you have to like your situation—you don’t necessarily have to assume a passive attitude toward suffering or life’s unfairness. However, you must come to terms with things as they are and acknowledge them, whether it’s a diagnosis of cancer or the possibility of its recurrence in the future.

Appreciate the Joys of Nature

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It’s generally agreed that exposure to nature is extremely beneficial for people with cancer or other chronic illnesses, improving mood and easing anxiety, stress, and depression. Current research findings suggest that natural settings such as parks, wilderness areas, urban green spaces and gardens have the potential to improve both physical and mental health. Numerous health scholars claim that ecotherapy can promote wellness and healing. The practice is also known as green therapy, nature therapy, and earth-centered therapy.

Take Part in Exercise or Physical Activity

Studies have proven the benefits of exercise for cancer patients. Of course, vigorous physical activity might not be possible during treatment and you should always consult with your doctor before beginning an exercise program. It will take more effort to become active if you were accustomed to a sedentary lifestyle before your cancer diagnosis. Many people feel so excited about “getting healthy” that they try to do multiple things at once, and that’s a recipe for burnout. Try focusing on just one type of exercise first. Some research indicates that a behavior change is more likely to ensue when you’ve identified what you really want from it. You may be seeking better moods or stress relief, or maybe you just want to connect with a fellow cancer survivor or workout buddy—it doesn’t matter, as long as you know what your goals are.

Have at Least One Regular Hobby

Secret-Garden

There’s an emerging group of professionals who employ the arts to help people heal. The new field is called creative arts therapies, and it encompasses a wide range of modes of expression including art, dance/movement, drama, music and poetry. When cancer patients undertake these activities, whether individually or with the guidance of a creative art therapist, they stand to benefit psychologically and emotionally. Recently there’s been a trend toward simple or old-fashioned crafts and hobbies such as knitting. Some adults are even using colouring books to relax and reduce daily stress. This concept started several years ago with the publication of Johanna Basford’s Secret Garden. Her colouring book for adults has since been translated into 14 languages and has sold over one million copies.

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In a League of Your Own: Why Every Cancer Patient is Different

I recently received some grim news regarding a close acquaintance with advanced breast cancer. After achieving about one year of remission, her doctors have informed her that her cancer has metastasized to her lungs. Apparently her current prognosis is extremely poor and oncologists have indicated that her disease is expected to progress to the terminal stage. I have to acknowledge that I have a certain degree of difficulty coping with circumstances such as this. Psychologically I accumulate unnecessary anxiety as I compare myself to other cancer patients. When I hear of bad outcomes, I keep asking myself if I’ll be next.

One of the psychological aspects of having ovarian cancer is fear of recurrence. Although I’ve been in remission for about two years now, I remain alarmed that when my cancer was diagnosed it was fairly advanced. The statistics reveal that recurrence rates are notoriously high for my type and stage of cancer. Throughout my personal cancer journey I’ve noticed that this fear of recurrence is heightened by another phenomenon, the tendency to compare my cancer to other people’s experience with the disease. For example, I’ll sometimes remind myself that if my disease follows the path that it does with most women I’ll encounter at least one recurrence within five years of my initial diagnosis.

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There are few analogies that can accurately convey such feelings of dread to those who haven’t experienced them. Some cancer survivors have compared living with the disease to crossing a battlefield and watching your comrades die gruesomely while you dodge the bullets. Personally there have been moments when I’ve felt a sense of doom, it’s as if I’m a death row inmate, but with no certainty of when my execution will actually occur.

I have some extremely important advice to give to myself and to anyone else being treated for cancer.

1. Resist the temptation to compare the disease in your body to what is happening to other people fighting cancer, even if your condition seems highly similar.

2. Don’t dwell on statistics or the possibility of recurrence.

For instance, most women with ovarian cancer do have at least one relapse within five years of being diagnosed, but that standard rate of recurrence won’t necessary happen to me. The reality is that medical science has proven that all cancer patients are unique. What’s more, because cancer statistics are based on large groups of people, they cannot be used to predict exactly what will happen to you. Everyone is different. Treatments and how people respond to treatment can differ greatly. A well-known American cancer survivor, Joanna Montgomery, chronicles her experiences of treatment, motherhood and marriage in a personal blog called It’s Cancer, Baby. As Montgomery heavily underscored in one of her online articles, we are all individuals.

“The truth is that every single person’s cancer is different —even those diagnosed as the same type and stage —because that cancer exists in a unique human body unlike no other, with a unique life history and genealogy. I’ve met people with cancer of a lesser stage than mine who didn’t make it, while I’ve just as frequently met survivors who dealt with higher stages of cancer decades in the past and are still going strong. There’s no algorithm that will determine which of us will make it and which of us won’t. There are endless factors at play, and cancer is unpredictable and constantly morphing.”

The stress and anxiety generated from trying to predict what will happen to you or from scrutinizing other cancer patients might actually be detrimental to your health and the healing process. Medical science acknowledges a connection between our thoughts and emotions and certain physical aspects of healing, such as our immune system. The power of the mind-body connection has been widely accepted by mainstream medicine since the 1960s or 1970s. During those decades, a great deal of research in the field of biofeedback and self-regulation showed that human beings could learn to control many physiological functions. Even those ones that had previously been thought involuntary, such as heart rate and blood pressure, were found to be at least partially under our control. A number of pioneering studies drew on relaxation, meditation and yoga.

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The power we possess over own bodies and our personal health and the case for each of us being a unique biological organism was also established in a groundbreaking book entitled Mind as Healer, Mind as Slayer. In 1977, this book by Dr. Kenneth Pelletier helped to inspire widespread interest in mind-body interactions. Pelletier presents a variety of compelling evidence that the mind is a major participant in illness and that the mind can be a major factor in health as well. The majority of his case studies focused on serious chronic diseases, including heart disease and cancer.

So my recommendation if you are fighting cancer is to maintain faith in your body’s ability to heal itself. Even more importantly remember that your cancer journey is unlike anyone else’s and that your outcome may be radically different from those in similar medical circumstances. You are special, your body and spirit are both unique, so don’t assume you can predict the course your cancer will take simply by observing the disease in others.

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The Waiting Game

 

“Of all the hardships a person had to face none was more punishing than
the simple act of waiting.” Khaled Hosseini, A Thousand Splendid Suns

 

In this powerful quote Khaled Hosseini, the author of The Kite Runner and several other internationally acclaimed novels, speaks of the pain of waiting. Throughout my cancer journey waiting, along with uncertainty and fear, have been my constant unwelcome companions. Of course there have been the endless hours spent in doctor’s waiting rooms and waiting in diagnostic imaging departments for CT scans, MRIs and a multitude of tests. I can’t believe how accustomed I’ve become to these environments and to the monotonous routine that they now so strongly represent.

I close my eyes and I can visualize the waiting room chairs, the reception desk, sometimes a television for distraction, and always the tired and worried looks on the other patients’ faces. Some attempt to engage in small talk with other patients or with the caregivers who have accompanied them, others sit silently or try to read or distract themselves with electronic devices. My waiting time at the outpatient clinic at the Tom Baker Cancer Centre is typically half an hour to an hour. It’s common knowledge that Calgary is in dire need of a new cancer centre, as the Baker Centre is more than thirty years old and way over capacity with the volume of patients it now must serve.

waiting room

My memories of waiting for chemotherapy sessions in the late winter and early spring of 2012 are still extremely vivid in my mind. I can laugh now, but at my first appointment I was worried that some of the veteran chemotherapy patients might be able to tell that I was a newbie. They would ascertain that I looked too healthy and had all of my hair! When I arrived, I noticed that the people around me seemed to have many types and stages of cancer; what is more, a good number of them exhibited full heads of hair. After a short wait of approximately 15 minutes, a nurse led my mother and I into the Baker Centre’s large daycare treatment area. My heart beat faster as we reached my assigned space and I settled into a recliner by the window. The nurse explained what she was doing as she inserted my IV line and then attached some anti-nausea medication in preparation for the potent cancer-fighting drug, carboplatin.

As unpleasant as waiting for physical examinations and chemotherapy appointments can be, for many cancer patients it’s anticipating a future over which they have little control that seems so much more ominous and stressful. I live with the constant pressure of waiting for outcomes that I cannot completely control. When I was originally diagnosed with endometrial and ovarian cancer three years ago, I was referred to the Tom Baker Cancer Centre where my case was reviewed by the Gynecologic Oncology Tumour Board. This team of doctors and specialized pathologists reviews all new referrals to ensure correct diagnosis and to recommend the best treatment plan. Almost instantly I became the patient of one of Western Canada’s most renowned pelvic cancer surgeons, Dr. Prafull Ghatage.

hourglassMy first consultation with Dr. Ghatage now seems like a lifetime ago. In a few months I’m scheduled for another routine checkup at the Tom Baker Cancer Centre. It’s essential that I be monitored regularly for a possible recurrence or any signs of malignancy; ovarian cancer has a notoriously high recurrence rate. Many women with the disease face at least one recurrence within five years of their first diagnoses. Without resorting to an abundance of medical jargon, I’ve been diagnosed with stage IIIC2 adenocarcinoma of the uterus and stage IC adenocarcinoma of the ovary. As I await my next appointment on February 10, 2015, the encouraging news is that I’m currently in remission—at least I am to my knowledge—and my chances of a complete cure are better the longer I remain in this state. The Canadian Cancer Society defines remission as a decrease in or disappearance of signs and symptoms of cancer. In partial remission, some, but not all, signs and symptoms of cancer have disappeared. In complete remission, all signs and symptoms of cancer have disappeared, although cancer still may be in the body. According to Ovarian Cancer Canada, 80 per cent of women diagnosed with ovarian cancer will achieve remission.

However, it is unknown if the cancer will come back or how long before it comes back. These unanswered questions linger in every woman’s mind that has ever been diagnosed with cancer and all we can do is wait for the resolution. In the meantime, I’ve made my health my primary focus—a nutritious diet, an appropriate exercise routine and getting enough sleep have never been more important. Obviously I’m careful to take my daily medication; I’ve been prescribed the drug Megace (generic name megestrol), it has been known to reduce recurrence rates in uterine, ovarian and breast cancer patients. Finally, hope and my steadfast determination to live each moment of my life fully and completely remain my allies in this dreadful waiting game. “How much of human life is lost in waiting,” wrote the 19th century transcendentalist Ralph Waldo Emerson. As I continue to face the many realities of cancer in the 21st century I can strongly relate to this long ago observation.

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God Bless the Child

When I go to appointments at the cancer centre I notice that I’m surrounded by women in my own fortysomething age range. However, many of them are not patients themselves, they are there as caregivers and are accompanying a cancer stricken elderly parent. Sometimes as I walk in with my support person, my healthy and totally independent 72-year-old mother, I feel bitter and confused at our obvious role reversal. All at once I’m aware of how much the relationships in my life have changed since my diagnosis. Cancer has made me more dependent on family members, a multitude of health care workers and a number of government agencies. Throughout my ordeal there have been lonely days when I’ve yearned for a larger family or an abundance of close friends. Above all having a chronic illness has shown me what it’s truly like to be forced to rely on other individuals and revealed to me who is willing to stand by me in my time of greatest need.

Sometimes music helps me to deal with certain emotions that I’m feeling. Well before I was diagnosed with cancer or felt its harsh social and financial impact, God Bless the Child by the legendary Billie Holiday was one of my favorite songs. But lately both the powerful lyrics and her exquisite delivery keep going through my mind. God Bless the Child extols self-reliance while it condemns those who ignore us, repudiate us or treat us as inferior when we are unable to be self-sufficient. In her autobiography Lady Sings the Blues Holiday indicated an argument with her mother over money led to the song. Apparently during the argument she said the line “God bless the child that’s got his own.” The anger over the incident led her to turn that line into a starting point for a song, which she worked out in conjunction with Arthur Herzog. In his 1990 book Jazz Singing, Will Friedwald describes the work as “sacred and profane” as it references the Bible while indicating that religion seems to have little or no effect in making people treat each other better. Sadly, Billie Holiday was only 44 when she died—she had fought a long, terrible battle with alcohol and drug addiction.

God Bless the Child Billie Holiday / Arthur Herzog Jr.

Them that’s got shall get
Them that’s not shall lose
So the Bible said and it still is news
Mama may have, Papa may have
But God bless the child that’s got his own
That’s got his own

Yes, the strong gets more
While the weak ones fade
Empty pockets don’t ever make the grade
Mama may have, Papa may have
But God bless the child that’s got his own
That’s got his own

Money, you’ve got lots of friends
Crowding round the door
When you’re gone, spending ends
They don’t come no more
Rich relations give
Crust of bread and such
You can help yourself
But don’t take too much
Mama may have, Papa may have
But God bless the child that’s got his own
That’s got his own

Mama may have, Papa may have
But God bless the child that’s got his own
That’s got his own
He just worry ’bout nothin’
Cause he’s got his own

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Billie Holiday

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