Five Tips for Communicating with Your Oncologist

Know Your Rights

You have a right to be treated with dignity and respect by hospital staff and by all members of your oncology team. Every cancer patient should be provided with complete and accurate information regarding their condition, including their prognosis. The medical professionals heading your cancer care team have a responsibility to explain your diagnosis, treatment options and other information in clear understandable terms.

Ultimately you have a right to be an active participant in your treatment plan, it’s your disease and your body. It’s your right to either consent to treatment or refuse a procedure suggested by your oncologist. For example, you can refuse to sign a consent form if you feel everything hasn’t been explained clearly or you can cross out part of a consent form that you don’t want applied to your care. However, remember that if you do refuse a treatment your oncologist is required to explain to you the medical consequences of your decision.

Doctor's Touch

 

Recognize Your Responsibilities

It’s 2017 and it’s your responsibility to be active in your care and to advocate for yourself. Just a generation or two ago doctors were like gods in white coats, you didn’t dare question their authority and the fact that they had graduated from medical school meant that they were in control of the decision making. Patients are no longer passive or expected to behave like children or second-class citizens in a doctor-patient relationship. Today, the treatment of cancer and other life-threatening diseases is a collaborative process. You should do your best to be well informed and to ascertain the benefits and risks of each procedure or treatment offered to you.

Many cancer patients, including myself, have discovered that the level of responsibility put on us is quite high. We are responsible for adhering to a complex treatment regimen proposed by our oncology team. Treatment as an outpatient generally includes chemotherapy, radiation and regular follow-up appointments. Keeping track of all these scheduled procedures, medications and other detailed instructions can sometimes make an individual feel overwhelmed. If this happens, don’t be afraid to ask for help or to inform your family and your professional cancer care team.

 

Come Prepared

If you’ve recently been diagnosed with cancer, chances are your mind is spinning and you have literally dozens of questions that you feel you need to ask your oncologist. Where do you begin and how do you best prepare for an appointment? I recommend composing a list of questions and placing the ones that you think are the most important fist. As a patient, you’re entitled to ask your health care providers anything, in that sense, there are no right or wrong questions. However, being prepared will help you get more out of your interaction with your health care providers.

Here are a few of the most essential questions that you might need to go over with members of your oncology team.

Can we please review the next step in the plan?
Why are we doing these tests?
Why am I receiving this treatment?
What are the side effects of this medication?
How effective is the treatment?
Please explain how the treatment will help.
Why do you think that this is the best treatment for me?

 

clh-tom-baker

 

Acknowledge That Doctors Are Human

When talking with your oncologist, you should always remember that you’re dealing with a human being, doctors are not gods or saints. Yes, they have specialized medical knowledge and unique and difficult to acquire skills, but that doesn’t mean they can’t make mistakes or feel emotions. Studies have revealed that anxiety and depression are equally prevalent in the medical profession as in the general population and more worryingly, addiction and suicide rates are actually higher than the general population.

Physicians are still cultured to show no weakness, that vulnerability is a sign of incompetence. Although medical professionals encourage patients to seek help, admitting that they themselves sometimes encounter physical or emotional issues can be seen as a character flaw. Remember that your oncologist is a human being in a highly demanding and extremely stressful profession.

 

Value Honesty

Even before my cancer diagnosis five and a half years ago I understood that honesty is one of the central features of the doctor-patient relationship and that without honesty there can be no trust.

Still, doctors have this nasty habit of asking a lot of questions. Many of their inquiries make us uncomfortable or self-conscious, so we sometimes bluff. Here are a few of the most common issues that patients are dishonest about.

Many patients lie about the medications they are taking and whether they are taking them as prescribed.

Some patients are deceitful about whether they smoke.

Patients are often hesitant to discuss how much alcohol they consume.

People will often tell their doctor that they exercise regularly and eat a healthy diet, but not adhere to these practices.

Occasionally a cancer patient will lie when they experience pain or other possible symptoms of recurrence in the hope that their oncologist won’t find anything wrong.

Finding the Resilience to Face a New Year

This is the sixth New Year that I’ve celebrated since my cancer diagnosis, and each one brings with it a mixture of hope, fear and uncertainty. For many cancer survivors watching everyone plan for the future is difficult, it can produce mixed emotions and make the dawn of a new year extremely challenging.

That’s why I’m not going to use this blog to give a lecture about New Year’s resolutions or to suggest that you make elaborate promises to yourself. I realize that living with cancer often renders such gestures trivial and that your life is probably being planned week-by-week or month-by-month. Instead I’ve chosen to share some of my favourite quotations about resilience.

I hope the meditations that I’ve selected make the beginning of another year a little less daunting for you and provide you with strength and inspiration for your cancer journey. As someone once said, life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, but we can choose to get stronger and more resilient.

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“Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you’ve lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that’s good.”

— Elizabeth Edwards

 

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

— Maya Angelou

 

“My scars remind me that I did indeed survive my deepest wounds. That in itself is an accomplishment. And they bring to mind something else, too. They remind me that the damage life has inflicted on me has, in many places, left me stronger and more resilient. What hurt me in the past has actually made me better equipped to face the present.”

— Steve Goodier

 

“You all know that I have been sustained throughout my life by three saving graces—my family, my friends and a faith in the power of resilience and hope. These graces have carried me through difficult times and they have brought more joy to the good times than I ever could have imagined.”

— Elizabeth Edwards

 

“Those who make us believe that anything’s possible and fire our imagination over the long haul, are often the ones who have survived the bleakest of circumstances. The men and women who have every reason to despair, but don’t, may have the most to teach us, not only about how to hold true to our beliefs, but about how such a life can bring about seemingly impossible social change.”

— Paul Rogat Loeb

Fresh Hope for a New Year

This is the fifth New Year that I’ve celebrated since my cancer diagnosis, and each one brings with it a mixture of hope, fear and uncertainty. For many cancer survivors watching everyone plan for the future is difficult, it can produce mixed emotions and make the dawn of a new year extremely challenging.

That’s why I’m not going to use this blog to give a lecture about New Year’s resolutions or to suggest that you make elaborate promises to yourself. I realize that living with cancer often renders such gestures trivial and that your life is probably being planned week-by-week or month-by-month. Instead I’ve chosen to share some of my favorite motivational quotations, may these compelling words make the beginning of another year a little less daunting for you and may the theme of infinite hope provide you with strength and inspiration for your cancer journey.

 

hope-hands

 

“Remember, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”

— Stephen King, Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption

 

“I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart; I am, I am, I am.”

— Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

 

“It’s really a wonder that I haven’t dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart. I simply can’t build my hopes on a foundation consisting of confusion, misery and death.”

— Anne Frank, The Diary of a Young Girl

 

“The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope.”

— Barack Obama

 

sunrise-hope

 

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

— Maya Angelou, Phenomenal Woman

 

“When you die, it does not mean that you lose to cancer. You beat cancer by how you live, why you live, and in the manner in which you live.”

— Stuart Scott

 

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”

— Maya Angelou

 

“I’m not a dreamer, and I’m not saying this will initiate any kind of definitive answer or cure to cancer, but I believe in miracles. I have to.”

— Terry Fox