One of the most heartbreaking lessons that I’ve acquired so far from my cancer journey has been that cancer can result in abandonment. Like the majority of cancer survivors, I’ve experienced the inevitable loss of some of my long-time friends and acquaintances.

I’ve gradually been able to accept that these people where not meant to support me or to be with me and that perhaps they lacked the strength or the spirit to remain as I confront the many challenges of ovarian cancer. Indeed, some relationships can’t weather a storm and are only temporary, while others are able to withstand numerous hardships and the test of time. 

In this post I’d like to share a poem that illuminates this theme for me in a manner that I feel other cancer survivors might also strongly relate to. The poem is by Nikita Gill, the well-known British-Indian poet, playwright, and illustrator.

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Temporary and Permanent

Most people in your life
were only meant 
for dreams, 
and summer laughter.

They stay till the wind changes, 
the tides turn, 
or disappear 
with the first snow.

And then there are some 
that were forged
to weather blizzards 
and pain with you.

They were cast in iron, 
set in gold 
and never ever leave you 
to face anything alone.

Know who these people are.
And love them the way they deserve.
Not everyone in your life is temporary.
A few are as permanent as love is old.

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As for myself, I’ve been living in the shadow of cancer for over a decade, sometimes I’ve felt alone and other times I’ve felt the support of others. In hindsight I think it’s important that we show gratitude for the people in our lives who are permanent, the ones who are willing to stay with us even throughout the most unbearable parts of our journey. We should acknowledge that these individuals are rare and special, or as the author so appropriately describes them cast in iron, set in gold.